It’s dark and looming in there.
Like a dark chasm
of mystery.

I sneeze

three times.

Dust bunnies abound.

My nose tingles.

Two more sneezes.

Damned California closets.

They aren’t as amazing as they once seemed

back in the 90s.

One-by-one I dump the contents 

of drawers, racks and cubbies.

piling clothing and accessories on the floor

to sort through,

and papers.

I had no idea of the paper accumulation.

Memories flood past my itchy eyes and sinuses.

A pack of 1990 Cincinnati Reds World Series baseball cards

still unopened.

Those are worth something.

Keep.

A torn paper sack with nothing in it.

Trash.

My Princess Diana Beanie Baby bear

in it’s plexiglass box.

I will always remember where I was when I heard that news.

In my car driving home from a bar mitzvah weekend

with my best friend.

Keep.

The red beret I bought at the France pavilion at Epcot.

Oh, keep that.

My Banner House purse…

The wooden handle is still in good shape.

That’s something I wanted badly but was ashamed to ask for at Christmas

because those purses were expensive.

My future mother-in-law bought it for me as a gift in 1983.

She never knew I wanted one, but opening that box was like

JACKPOT!

Keeping it!

A drawing my youngest daughter did of an outline of her hand and a pair of lips,

because she loved the story called The Kissing Hand 

when she was in kindergarten.

“I love Mommy” is written under her illustrations.

Definitely keep.

An old photo in an envelope of me nursing my baby.

I was modest and didn’t want anyone to see the picture,

because of my boob,

so I hid it away in the closet

but I would never destroy it

because that’s one of the earliest moments 

with me and my first-born baby girl.

Absolutely keep.

Next is an old belt

with a huge cloisonné buckle.

It’s red

and I loved it,

but it’s time to go in the donation bag.

Vintage blue Adidas with white stripes on the side.

The last gift my grandma ever bought for me.

They still fit.

If I ever get invited to a retro party or if we have “Vintage Dress Day” at school…

I am never giving these up.

Never.

(clutches pair of shoes close to my heart)

Random Morbid thought:

I don’t want my kids in the future to have to clean out this closet and find dumb shit I should have tossed.

Artifacts from an era long gone.

Did it even happen?

Were those times even real?

I did work retail

in high-end shops

and acquired way too many purses, shirts, skirts and sequined hair scrunchies

on discount.

I used to live and dress by the Rule of Thirds and the Eight-Point Rule

back in the day,

but nobody does that now;

At least nobody in my circle.

Bye-bye hair scrunchies.

Bye-bye shirts with ruffles.

The only skirts I keep have to at least have pockets.

Bye-Bye pocketless anything.

What’s this?

(unfolds crinkled up notebook paper)

A love letter/poem from my boyfriend/husband.

It’s super-corny.

Bad, mushy writing, 

but it’s sincere.

Keep!

How did these times go by so fast?

40 years of memories 

in a bedroom closet.

Life has been good.





For reference for the younger readers:

The Kissing Hand book: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=the+kissing+hand+book&crid=3FX2304X3REAR&sprefix=The+Kissing+Hand%2Caps%2C122&ref=nb_sb_ss_pltr-data-refreshed_2_16

Cloisonneé: https://www.amazon.com/cloisonne-jewelry/s?k=cloisonne+jewelry

Adidas shoes: https://www.ebay.com/itm/186425241086?itmmeta=01J43B7CPJH027T2T3ZHZSDKHP&hash=item2b67cf6dfe:g:aCAAAOSwmk5kdthW&itmprp=enc%3AAQAJAAAA8EY2oPnIny3EZQj0qwk8OaAFEcuV0%2BqIw3fyCi%2FLMFefMZYMPZHt0ApciuYwTeDyr3Vn3Sj3grG34lv9KM71ZjSFJHpHIHUiQORFOKG%2B47SwZfgwtirRRR7ElYQkt%2Fys90wlzr0V606xDod9E49PN1O96RiDxoBET4IDmtYRhYOjEbhEmeS9sUz8qQ1NIkUATY5H%2FN%2FW%2FNRscBZ7XidqItEIWE0d%2FwYKYkb29PBiR6DscBAdtY0ZpL0Z%2Bt7HV9EJcAPwaz01VMOami3lNunJkrGumTPIe6rzY%2FVekADZPaI%2FY%2BAQtKWXaMwzd%2Bo%2FOuiElw%3D%3D%7Ctkp%3ABFBM7sud66Bk